Lakin's First Day of School!!

So I'm sitting here looking at the clock every 5 minutes or so thinking that it's been at least a half hour. Thank goodness, it's finally 10:00! So my baby started school today! Oh...my...gosh!!!! That was SOOOO hard! It was just as hard with Lakin as it was with Gavin and she didn't even cry when I left! I can't even begin to imagine what it's going to be like when it's Emma's turn, especially if she's my last! I had the worst time falling asleep last night, thinking of all of the things that could go wrong. Of course, I was second ( and third and fourth) guessing my decision to let her start school at three... she's still so young. She's just a baby! I should make her wait until next year.. three and four are HUGE differences when it comes to their development and maturity, what was I thinking....three??!!! What if after 20 minutes she decides she wants to go home? Well of course she won't be able to, and what if she cries? What if she has an accident? What if another kid takes a toy from her and she gets upset? She still cries when she gets upset...she's still just a baby!! What if the other kids ( who most of them are 4) are mean to her? What if she has to play by herself outside at recess? What if she doesn't follow the teachers rules and decides to be stubborn ( which she is known to be) and gets in trouble?? She'll be scared for life! She'll never want to go to school again! What if...what if...what if...!!!!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!! It is taking everything I have to not pick up the phone and call, just to see how she's doing. Part of me hopes she hates it and I'll never make her go back (this year anyway), but the other bigger, more sane part of me hopes she has a great time and loves it!! She was so excited this morning. We got up, got dressed, ate breakfast, brushed her teeth, combed her hair, got Emma ready and got in the car. She kept asking " are we almost to my school?" and when we got there she was so happy! We went inside, she hung up her bag in her cubby, and the teacher showed her the different tables she could play at until class started. Of course, she went right for the kitchen... that wasn't an option however. The teacher and I led her back to a table.. I gave her a hug and kiss, sucked up my tears, and walked out. Of course, I peeked back in, she was just standing at a table, not really sure, looking at the door with her finger in her mouth, then she saw me......... and was fine! No tears.. nothing. Which is good, I know this, but again, the un-sane part of me wanted her to run and say " mommy mommy I'll miss you!" I am just dreading getting there to pick her up and she'll be crying. I'm always there to make things better, to watch out for her.... but I left her alone for three whole hours!!!! I'm an awful mom! The sane me is HOPING that I'll pick her up and she'll be smiling and I'll be told she did a wonderful job and had lots of fun. Gosh, I really hope that's what I hear, that will make everything SO much easier on me! I'll write more after I pick her up...............eating her choice of breakfast.... dry " cer-cer" ( cereal)with her brother before he left for schoolbeing silly LakinCheese!!

really into the T.V.

Well.............. she didn't like it. She was playing with blocks when I got there and smiled real big and said she was ready to go home. On the way out she said " I didn't like school". So sad. Buttttt.............. she wasn't crying hysterically or even upset, really, so I'm thinking that I'm going to make her go back tomorrow. In the car she said that she didn't like the school bus at all! They rode around the parking lot in their little bus, and she told the teacher, too " I didn't like that". I assured her she won't have to ride the bus anymore. She was still sticking to the not wanting to go back feeling. By the time we got home, though, she decided that we would go back tomorrow. They are painting a school bus and she can't wait to paint. Hopefully, tomorrow goes better for her. She told me that the kids didn't play with her... I'm going to go and beat them all up! So, we are going to give it another shot tomorrow, even though my mother feels that she's not ready. I'm not ready to give up yet. I'll let everyone know how it goes!